That which we must do

Posted on Mon May 7, 2018 @ 9:06pm by Lieutenant JG Jacob Hartley

Mission: History
Location: Hartley's quarters
Timeline: MD 33 || 2305 Hours

Jacob sat in his quarters, alone, as he finally removed his boots and leant back into his chair. His day had been a long one, and he had rather enjoyed his time with Willow. But now, here, alone, he was left with his thoughts. He sighed as he picked up a drink he had replicated. Taking a sip, he allowed the taste of the tropical juice to tease his tongue. He loved the different flavours, and how they worked in combination for the drink.

He shook his head, stood up and took his drink over to his desk, where he sat down, and looked at his diary. It was old fashioned, made of paper, and he wrote in it with a pencil. He always recorded it in the computer as well, but there was something about writing with paper that made it more…meaningful. He picked up the pencil and began to write.

‘So today, being aboard the mercenary ship, I was in battle again. I have to confess, it is not my preferred state of being, yet I find more and more, as I engage in combat, I am becoming more…used to it. But that is what worries me. How can anyone get used to killing? I know they train us to fight at the academy, but at the end of the day…I don’t think anyone should be used to taking a life.’

He sighed as he took another sip of his drink, before continuing.

‘In this regard, I have a tremendous amount of respect for the Marines, especially Gage Aravan. In the heat of battle, he was completely focused, and ensured we won with his skills and his leadership. The Marines clearly respect him. And after we returned to the ship, I took a look at his file. He’s a father and husband; clearly, he has found a way to detach himself from combat, and not allow it to eat at him. But at the same time, he maintains that which makes us human – the decency of humanity, the love and compassion people feel. I guess that’s why I’m afraid of combat at times, because I don’t want to become cold. Does he question this, I wonder? Does he ask himself how he does it? I like to think he does, and that he knows he’s doing what’s right. In truth, he is doing what’s right. He’s fighting to defend humanity and the Federation, so others don’t have to feel this way.’

As he took another sip of his drink, he thought back to when he was younger, to his early assignments. He had been on away missions, and when he had first taken a life…it had been one of the hardest moments of his life. He thought back to when he was an Ensign at Starbase 235. Captain Sovak, a Starfleet veteran of 80 years, and a Captain by choice, had asked Jacob to go on an away assignment to a nearby system. One of the ships assigned to the Starbase, the USS Augustus had detected some unusual energy readings. It was, Sovak had figured, likely a ship that had crashed or was having difficulties, considering there was nothing of note on the planet, and was being considered for a farming and science colony. Sovak had asked Jacob because he knew Jacob had never been on an away mission.

For a Vulcan, Sovak had been…warm, and friendly. He had even cracked a smile when talking to Jacob. He had respected Sovak completely, and as such, Sovak was going along as well. Sovak had taken a liking to Jacob, both of them being interested in Parkour. Jacob had even learnt a few lessons from the man. But when they had reached the planet, they had come under attack by a smuggling ring. Captain Sovak had been killed, and Jacob was left with one of the attackers. It was just the two of them on the planet, Elgaris Four…

*****

(Elgaris Four, 2384)

The sky was dark, with rain pouring down heavily. Thunder was roaring, and lighting was giving the area light. Jacob was facing his attacker, one of the smugglers. Neither man held a weapon; the smuggler’s blade was in the chest of Captain Sovak. Jacob ran at the smuggler, leapt into the air, and landed behind him. As soon as he landed, he spun around and kicked the man in the back, sending him to the ground. The smuggler, however, quickly got up, and ran at Jacob, punching him in the face. Feeling the strike knock him back, Jacob growled in anger, ignoring the pain as he swung his own fist, striking the man’s face.

Jacob saw the man swing his fist again, but this time he brought his arm up and blocked the attack. He brought his fist round again and landed it square in the face of the smuggler, sending him stumbling backwards. As the thunder roared again, Jacob looked at the smuggler. “Stay down.” Jacob called out, so his voice could be heard. In response, the smuggler brought his feet round, and sent Jacob to the floor. He fell down, and as he saw the smuggler getting up, he brought his knees up, towards his chest, before pushing forward, creating enough momentum to leap up to his feet.

He leapt up and spun around, kicking the man in the face. However, as the man fell, he rolled over to the body of one of the other smugglers and grabbed a blade from him. Jacob, standing next to the body of Captain Sovak, grabbed the dagger that had been embedded in the Vulcan’s heart, pulled it out, and turned to face the smuggler. However, the smuggler had run towards Jacob, ready to bring his blade down. But he hadn’t expected Jacob to turn and had run straight into the blade.

Jacob heard the man’s gasp as blood began to fill the smuggler’s mouth. He coughed, spitting some blood onto Jacob’s face, and looked into Jacob’s eyes. Jacob could see the light leaving them and was frozen as he felt the man’s blood trickle onto his hands. He watched as the man’s body fell to the ground, just as Starfleet Security officers beamed down. The ship had been occupied with the smuggler’s ship, and the fact the officers were there meant that they had prevailed.

But Jacob…he knew the officers were talking, but nothing seemed to register to him. He had just taken a life with his own hands…he hadn’t meant to – he wanted the dagger to protect himself and to disable the attacker, not to kill him. But this…he just looked at the dead smuggler, the look of death forever etched into his memory…

*****

(Now)

Jacob had been looked over by medical and had spoken to counsellors about what had happened. It had taken a very long conversation with William before he had begun to accept what had happened, but for him, it was something he would never forget. He had killed since then, and the second had been considerably easier for him to accept, but he never liked it. Taking a life…it was never something to be cherished. Life was, in fact, to be treasured. Some people didn’t believe that and wanted to end other’s lives.

That was why Jacob fought. He looked down at the diary and saw that he had written everything that had happened that night in it. He took a sip of his drink as he thought back to that night.

‘Do I wish there had been another way? Absolutely. Life is special, it is precious…it is a gift. But do I regret it? That’s a question I have long asked. Do I regret killing the man who had killed Captain Sovak? Do I regret my actions in fighting him, and stopping him?’ He wrote.

‘No. Not for one second, because had I not done what I did, he would have escaped and taken other lives. I wish there had been another way, but I will never regret doing what I must, to protect others from having to do it. I do this to make sure others can live in peace.’

He finished his drink, and then wrote his final sentence.

‘Even if I can never find that peace myself.